Learning to tear down my own walls, disintegrate, reintegrate, learning to become child-like again, to play, to be messy, creative, uninhibited, to live without rules, to be fully myself, truly myself, to be honest, to roll through this world without guilt, to make things and break things and dream up things and fail at things, to live, to simply live… in this mess that we call life.
Category: blog
a forgotten blaze
“At the back of our brains, so to speak, there was a forgotten blaze or burst of astonishment at our own existence. The object of the artistic and spiritual life was to dig for this submerged sunrise of wonder.”
– G. K. Chesterton
thought of the day
Negative thoughts create negative feelings. Try replacing these negative thoughts with their positive versions, because why not? And notice, with curiosity and a sort of detached bemusement at how silly human beings and our brains are, what happens when you do that.
Photo above: A snapshot of home these days.
some life updates
1. I lost my French streak on Duolingo. I was at about day 130+ and then, one day, I simply forgot about logging in to do a lesson. Now I gotta start all over again.
2. Bought a MacBook Pro 16 inch recently. What a powerful machine. We really do live in the future.
3. I bought my own home! Personal milestone. It’s a small 600+ square feet apartment (in Singapore). We have been watching Never Too Small to hype ourselves up about living in a tiny home. Then of course we realised many people who live in tiny homes make do with spaces way smaller than 600+ sqft, and now our future home doesn’t feel quite as small anyway.
4. My nephew is arriving on earth in less than two weeks. And another nephew in a few months. Babysitting duties are about to get quite serious.
5. Currently reading “Solitude” by Michael Harris + “When Your Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress” by Gabor Maté (both super interesting) + “How to Draw Without Talent” by Danny Gregory.
6. I learned to drink (and appreciate) coffee recently.
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(learning to be) happy being ordinary
I used to be a workaholic. But I’m not one anymore. The more I love myself the less of a workaholic I become. That’s because the more I love myself, the less I need to prove that I’m extraordinary through my work.
Patrick also has some words on ordinary / extraordinary here.
real life
“I am here alone for the first time in weeks, to take up my “real” life again at last. That is what is strange – that friends, even passionate love, are not my real life unless there is time alone in which to explore and to discover what is happening or has happened. Without the interruptions, nourishing and maddening, this life would become arid. Yet I taste it fully only when I am alone…”
– May Sarton
time and attention
It takes a lot of mindfulness to notice that an article is not making me smarter and more productive, but simply making me feel like I’m becoming smarter and more productive.
The internet is dangerous – let’s tread carefully.
Stars strewn across the valley
There are many wonderful things in the world. This is one of them =)
Read more about Stardew Valley.
afternoon gathering
A new project brewing with friends.
we don’t need to become better
There is a lot of pressure to become better. A better cook, a better writer, a better friend, a better partner, a better reader, a better meditator, a better yoga student, etc. But self-hatred can sometimes be disguised as self-improvement.
We like to think the pressure comes from outside, but more often it comes from inside. We want to become better because we think there is something fundamentally wrong with us.
But what if we stop thinking there is something wrong with us, apart from being fully human?
And any self-improvement is done, truly, out of a place of curiosity and joy?
What would life look like then?
“How many moments have we lost from thinking we’re unlovable?”
– Tara Brach