Negative thoughts create negative feelings. Try replacing these negative thoughts with their positive versions, because why not? And notice, with curiosity and a sort of detached bemusement at how silly human beings and our brains are, what happens when you do that.
1. I lost my French streak on Duolingo. I was at about day 130+ and then, one day, I simply forgot about logging in to do a lesson. Now I gotta start all over again.
2. Bought a MacBook Pro 16 inch recently. What a powerful machine. We really do live in the future.
3. I bought my own home! Personal milestone. It’s a small 600+ square feet apartment (in Singapore). We have been watching Never Too Small to hype ourselves up about living in a tiny home. Then of course we realised many people who live in tiny homes make do with spaces way smaller than 600+ sqft, and now our future home doesn’t feel quite as small anyway.
4. My nephew is arriving on earth in less than two weeks. And another nephew in a few months. Babysitting duties are about to get quite serious.
5. Currently reading “Solitude” by Michael Harris + “When Your Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress” by Gabor Maté (both super interesting) + “How to Draw Without Talent” by Danny Gregory.
6. I learned to drink (and appreciate) coffee recently.
I used to be a workaholic. But I’m not one anymore. The more I love myself the less of a workaholic I become. That’s because the more I love myself, the less I need to prove that I’m extraordinary through my work.
Patrick also has some words on ordinary / extraordinary here.
“I am here alone for the first time in weeks, to take up my “real” life again at last. That is what is strange – that friends, even passionate love, are not my real life unless there is time alone in which to explore and to discover what is happening or has happened. Without the interruptions, nourishing and maddening, this life would become arid. Yet I taste it fully only when I am alone…”
– May Sarton
There is a lot of pressure to become better. A better cook, a better writer, a better friend, a better partner, a better reader, a better meditator, a better yoga student, etc. But self-hatred can sometimes be disguised as self-improvement.
We like to think the pressure comes from outside, but more often it comes from inside. We want to become better because we think there is something fundamentally wrong with us.
But what if we stop thinking there is something wrong with us, apart from being fully human?
And any self-improvement is done, truly, out of a place of curiosity and joy?
What would life look like then?
“How many moments have we lost from thinking we’re unlovable?”
– Tara Brach