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Dear friends, old and new, of Untitled Projects,

A new website, a blank space, a fresh start. We can begin over a million times. There is no rule that says we can't.

Every year or two I go on a small sabbatical to recalibrate and re-map things, but in 2023 I had a particular moment of crisis. I don't use the word "crisis" negatively. I just mean in 2023 I had this strong feeling that something needed to change. I felt every cell in my body tell me (shout at me?) that I wasn't just bored or feeling uncreative, but that I needed to morph and turn into something else. Maybe not something else entirely, but I sensed that I was changing anyway, or being revealed. I was sick of not being who I was meant to be. Whatever that meant, it was a puzzle that led me to Paris to study with an old master photographer, to New York, to London to learn more about the fine art photography scene (and realizing that wasn't quite my thing), and finally to a small grey port town in Japan where I stumbled upon a little library that provided me with a small piece of the puzzle, and an expanded picture of my new life gradually came into view.

It was about one month into my year-long sabbatical in Japan when I abandoned my plans and started a community library in Singapore, and from there a few shifts happened. I was changed, as promised by the universe and my lovely astrologer (shoutout to Rux who told me I might have a "big change of identity" in mid 2024). I became more than a photographer. But I think it's more than just my identity, but how I experience this world. With the library, my place in the world has become more entangled.

For thirteen years my chosen work was advertising and commercial photography. It was something that allowed me to succeed on my own terms, which were quite simple, nothing too crazy - make good money, do something I enjoy and am good at, not have to get a 9-5 job, be free to dictate my own schedule. But time passed and one day I realized I’d outgrown everything. I don’t mean photography, but the way I did photography, and the way I worked and operated in this world. I felt a strong urge to climb out of my comfortable but narrow well, which constricted my view of the world, and transform myself - to kind of dissolve and melt into new shapes… in order to to meet the world, instead of hide away from it.

I was disconnected from the world, I think, for a very long time. When I think about my future now, I can’t think of it as something separate from the world. I can’t take climate change, the destruction of our natural world, problems in our education system, disconnection between people etc out of the picture. I have to somehow weave them into my work. But I don’t know how to yet. I’m feeling my way through and trying to learn as much as I can from other people. 

I’m trying to stay awake after having slept for such a long time.

To be a part of something is not to be trapped or to be unfree, I’ve come to realise. But it does require commitment and hard work and the ability to be responsible and to show up for others.

With the library I have become an accidental community-builder and part of a community, but with rootedness comes unanticipated joy. Some days I find myself sitting in the library smiling at everything that's happened, even the difficult moments, because I find it incredible that I am indeed sitting in a library that first began as a thought. It wasn't real, but now it is.

I think I've been saved by a library - gifted things and people I didn’t know I needed, learned things I didn’t know needed learning. How on earth does a small library (only 450 square feet) drag up questions around purpose and meaning and self worth and happiness? I don't know, life can be so strange. All I know is, whatever it might be, we must strive against all odds to find answers to the puzzling questions that keep us awake at night. And sometimes an unlikely path, say a small library, might take us there.

Magic and fire

My whole life I've been a fan of doing random projects. I've made a magazine, a traveler's backpack, a cafe, a radio show, now a library. There are constantly so many things in my head, that begin as a small spark, that I'd like to make real in this world. I'd go so far as to say that doing random projects is a wonderful way of being alive, because of that spark. That fire. We can't live in this world dulled and flattened by the bureaucracy and idiocy of things. We need to be reminded that being alive is a special, special, wondrous thing, and that we're full of awesome powers because we can all make things, and having access to our creative energy and capacity is a birthright of ours.

This new website is a home for all my projects. It's a place for me to play, to save words I've written about my ideas and what I am currently working on, and a living room for like-minded friends - or even unlike-minded ones - to gather. I guess this is community-building too, an exercise in making friends. In this case I find technology to be such a blessing, because I can write this in Singapore and I can reach people everywhere in this world. It's akin to magic don't you think?

It's magic and fire we need.

A favorite quote of mine goes like this (by Kirin Kiri, Japanese actor):

"It's a strange world. Everyone's always wondering, ‘What's gonna happen when I'm old?’ or ‘What is death all about?’, but we're just worrying for nothing. Because the world is bigger than we can imagine. This world is a 'series of accidents', and what fills this world isn't happiness, but interestingness. Happiness is subjective, but when you are willing to jump into the world, you will start to feel its interestingness. And if you live in this world, you'd better not do things that are not interesting."

Grounding

I find myself these days gravitating towards earth, nature, the ground. I want to know more about trees and insects and soil and things on the ground I previously ignored or even scoffed at. I've been addicted to technology and now I want to find my way back.